D.C. Cab (1983)

written by: Joel Schumacher
starring: Adam Baldwin, Max Gail, Charlie Barnett, Gary Busey, Marsha Warfield, Bill Maher, oh and let's not forget MR. T.

I grew up outside Washington D.C., and so have a soft spot for pretty much anything set in our capitol city. I spent a lot of my youth trucking in and out of DC, doing the museums and history and art, scoping out lesser known statues and corners with my dad. In late high school and through college, I spent time hanging out on U Street NW and H Street, dipping into music clubs and local theatres. I was never a full Washingtonian, and I never lived within city limits, but I felt, and still feel, a strong connection to the city and it's weird culture. It's a mixed bag of a place-- the blend of out-of-state government types and life-long residents, congressmen and citizens not represented by congress. It's a glittering city on a hill, and simultaneously, just around the corner, a dingy, gritty town built on a swamp that could use some revitalization but is rightfully wary of encroaching gentrification.

I love D.C. Always have, always will. But I have never once taken a cab in the city. I was also not alive in 1983, and not hanging out on U street before it was "cleaned up."

D.C. Cab, Joel Schumacher's second picture, exists in a D.C. that I never experienced. But a city doesn't change that much, and seeing any part of D.C. that isn't government represented in the movies feels remarkable. Even scenes set at Dulles airport send a warm thrill through my little heart.

That being said, much like the city in which it's based, D.C. Cab  is one hell of a mixed bag, if I may say so myself.

For every moment or beat I liked in the movie, there was something I found aggressively boring, or heinously out of taste, or unbelievably stupid. But it was about 50/50, which is impressive in it's own way. It flip-flops between charm and warmth, and an antic anarchy that's occasionally impossible to follow. This movie also stars a young Adam Baldwin (the one Baldwin not related to the rest of the Baldwins), which in itself is a little crazy and surreal.

Adam Baldwin--sorry, Albert, his character's name is Albert-- shows up in D.C. to make a life there (a refreshing idea, as so rarely do people in movies go to Washington to follow their dreams) as a cab driver. His recently deceased father had a friend from Vietnam who now runs a ramshackle cab company in town, and Albert has decided that this is... exactly what he wants to do with his life. And he does it. He finds D.C. Cab, a second-tier cab company which seems to barely function, and joins up. The company is full of what I could call capital-c-Characters, a rag-tag group of misfits who all can barely stand each other, but would more or less die for each other. It's with this rambunctious crowd that the movie has the most fun. There's Mr. T's indomitable Samson, who wants to help the kids in his community and keep them away from the pimps and drug dealers who hang out on the street corners, and who wears some of the best outfits I've ever seen. Mr. T gives the rousing denouement speech of the movie and man does he rule. He's not the star of the movie, but he's so magnetic and engaging I absolutely wish he was.

Then there's Gary Busey's Dell, a loony conspiracy theorist who often crosses the line into being appallingly sexist and racist. I've liked Gary Busey in things, but this is a particularly tough look on him. If the movie seemed to want me to think he was charming somehow, hint: it did not work. Though I admit I was charmed by a gag at the end where he pretends to be a lawyer and mostly just shuffles papers around while sniffing. There's Ophelia, the only lady driver, who is constantly getting mugged and losing her fares; Xavier, who is cabbing until he can meet a rich lady who'll sugar mama for him. And let me not forget the two buff twins, whose names I honestly never caught, but let me tell you--  I loved the buff twins. They have almost no dialogue, they dress identically and exist identically and hold up traffic by parking their cabs next to each other to gossip. Oh, and did I mention they're massively buff? Why?? Why not!! Who knows!! 

It's a colorful cast of characters, drawn with various degrees of shading, and the film loves these people, even Dell, who honestly sucks. D.C. Cab Company is a weird little family, self-made and non-traditional, and totally fuckin' weird, and that's what Schumacher loves. Boy does he love a little self-made family.

So-- Albert's tries to hack it as a hack driver, working hard to learn the districts and routes, riding along with his fellow drivers, earnestly asking for advice and listening when it's given. He has a genuine, heartfelt enthusiasm for the job which is lovely. It's through Albert's gentle naivety that we get to know the rest of this cast of hooligans. He has to wrangle riding along with Tyrone, a young black man full of pent up anger which he's presenting as wacky hysterics, but Albert's sympathy for whatever Tyrone has to dish out creates moments where Tyrone opens up to him, explaining his collegiate background abandoned when he realized the system had no room for him. There's sympathy for him here, and warmth, and the friendship that Tyrone and Albert build together is genuinely sweet. 

It's a hacky movie that's essentially an underdog story in it's plot (crummy cab company comes together to become a less crummy cab company, also foils a kidnapping), but there are honest statements made about race relations and the biases of the cops, about how hard it is to be a woman working in a male dominated industry, and how hard work sometimes doesn't matter in the face of corruption and bureaucracy. I found all of that pretty impressive, and decently handled. It's a weird script-- totally anarchic most of the time, but occasionally heavy and insightful, and those turns happen on a dime. It can be jarring, but it's held together by a real affection for the misfits at it's center. These are people who can't do anything else, even if they want to (and they all do), and can barely do this. But they're good. They're good people. Their cab company is in shambles, but they are not. They stick together, and want to stick together. Harold, who owns the company, is dedicated to making it better for all of them. When a $10,000 reward comes their way (courtesy of a plotline that is... not very important), Harold offers each of his drivers a share of it, or a stake in the company so they can use the money to improve their cabs and their prospects. He trusts them, even when they don't seem trustworthy. It's earnest and kindhearted in a way I appreciated.

It's those moments that work best in the movie, maybe because I also love little self-made families and the melodramatic shows of friendship and fortitude. That shit works for me. When this movie ended on a successful rescue of kidnapped children (ayuh that's a third act plotline of this movie) and then an honest to god parade in honor of D.C. Cab, yeah, I was moved. Yeah, it worked for me. Maybe it shouldn't have worked, because large swaths of the movie leading up to the ending didn't work for me, but it's a testament to the movie's affection for it's characters that I ended up feeling affectionate towards them too. To see them praised and applauded felt great. 

Bill Maher gives a little speech, which is lovely actually: "The big fear is the fear that the music you're writing or your brilliant first novel that's like, a draft away from being a best seller, or your plans for law school have to wait . . . and in the meantime you're becoming a cab driver." And what the movie really, genuinely feels is that... there's nothing bad about being a cab driver. You can have both-- drive and work on your music or your family or your book. And driving doesn't lessen your music or your book at all. You can be more than one thing, capable of more than one thing, if given the right chance and heck, in the right city. All of that is a generous, warm-hearted sentiment, and not one you often get about Washington D.C. or it's citizens.

And there were moments that really glimmered, shining moments of promise and interest. Visually, I spotted the first peek of background graffiti which becomes such a big part of the gothic mis en scene of later Schumacher joints. There is a scene where the cabs go out into the night, and their headlights cut distinct streaks through a low hanging fog. It's ominous, it's dramatic. It's a beautifully framed shot and then the camera moves away. The pinnacle: a moment where Albert looks at the girl he likes, and the light narrows to a single white beam. She shakes out her glowing hair into a sudden, impossible wind. She looks beautiful and ethereal, she smiles, smoke surrounds her and then... it ends. But what a moment! What a gorgeous, heightened moment! What style! What playfulness!

These are brief moments in a film that is overall lacking much visual richness. What it's really lacking is personality. When we are in the mud with the cab drivers, who overflow with personality, the movie succeeds. Occasionally it soars. When Schumacher lets his personality shine through, he manages to create moments of emotional richness and visual extravagance, and you can feel the difference. The few moments of dreaminess, where reality stretches, pay off immensely. A few more of those and it could have been a really rollicking good time. There's so much unreality to the characters and situations. That this unreality is built into the script makes it all the more disappointing that that quality doesn't much bleed over into the filmmaking. 

And yet, I admit, it's a very colorful movie with a banger soundtrack. It's fun! It's silly! It was leagues better than I expected, given what I had heard about it. But it certainly could have a had a touch more umph to it.

So while D.C. Cab lacks much richness, visual or otherwise, what's there really stands out. It's a chaotic movie from tip to tail, but man, those bits that work really do work. You can see how with a little more money and a little more stretching room, Schumacher could create something extraordinary and unique, which he eventually did. This is not the movie where he does it. But it is a pleasant footnote to a career that's on the verge.

Overall:  ★ ★ ★
Schumacherness: ★

Up Next: St. Elmo's Fire (1985)